I have now officially spent 2 whole days wasted watching movies I've already seen, and Vampire Diaries reruns, I mean don't get me wrong it's a great show but 1 whole season in a day is pathetic and frankly sad. I'm in fucking Denmark for 3 more months and I'm already being a bumfuck that hasn't even been outside in 48 hours. This also goes into my rant about how misleading social media can be.
If you're not a close friend of mine it would seem that I am having the time of my life, going on all these adventures and hitting all the clubs solely based on what I post on instagram and snapchat. I am definitely having a good time and making the most of my time here (sorta), and I am very grateful for this opportunity and acknowledge the privilege that not everyone can study in a foreign country for a whole semester. However, what you see on social media is not everything that I am experiencing. Obviously I'm not going to post a pic on instagram of be eating my fourth bowl of cereal in bed watching Netflix all day. I'm not going to post about not having that many friends here and about how I have to pregame by myself (lol) and hope that my one other friend wants to go out because if she doesn't want to then I'm not going to go out solo. I'm not going to post about the many walks and bike rides I've taken by myself because that would just seem sad and why would I post that when everyone else on this trip has found their squad and are already traveling to other countries for the weekend when I can't even visit another place because I would be going by myself. I feel like I'm being dramatic now, like I neeeed other people..... I'd like to think that I am a very independent person, being an only child you learn to be alone a lot and rely on yourself to do things on your own and figure it out. However, too much time spent alone is fucking lonely and you start to miss that human interaction. I usually talk to myself, but I've been doing it a lot more lately simply because I haven't spoken in hours sometimes (still not crazy I swear). So here goes back to my point about social media, what I post are only the highlights out of the many days spent alone, so please please don't be fooled. There are many days spent wondering what I'm going to do, if I'm even going to make it out of my room. I'm currently in a café in Copenhagen because I couldn't spend another minute in my room. I can't spend all my time talking to my friends back home and relying on that to fulfill my loneliness because then what was even the point of coming abroad if I'm not going to make an effort to meet new people and discover new places? I definitely realize that a lot of my loneliness is my own fault since I'm not putting in the effort to meet more people. However, it's hard when you already have amazing friends back home and it's hard to show the "real me" when first meeting people because I guess I'm weird hah. It's not like I haven't tried tho!! Like my public health class has a groupme chat and I invited people to go on a boat ride with me and no one replied sooo there. If I don't make more friends, it's not like it's the end of the world. I'll just travel by myself, it will be fine cause there's only 93 more days here but who's counting amiright!?
2 Comments
Nash
9/10/2017 04:12:55 am
The fact that I literally feel the same way. Genuinely feeling lonely sucks 😂 But I love you and can't wait to finally not feel alone in November
Reply
Ozelle
9/10/2017 05:48:12 am
I love you too and love having you as a friend, don't worry we will get through this!! November cannot come any sooner. Also sitting in the sun helps! Idk how sunny it is there but just finding a park and sitting in the sun for an hour or more a day really helps lift my mood even tho I'm alone ?
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
January 2018
Categories |